An Authentic Nole Fan Who Survived The “Dark Era”

Is there a Sports Fans Anonymous? If so, then sign me up. Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I’m addicted to Florida State football. You see, it started when I was a young girl. My Bermudian family immigrated to the states before my birth and like all immigrants they loved all things American. Football in Florida is like a vine, it takes hold of you. While my family indoctrinated me to love the pigskin, to cheer for the 49ers (even at a Steelers vs Saints game in the SuperDome), and how to do the wave, at some point my love drifted to those that do it not for money (yet), but for the passion of the game.

It got real when Florida State played Michael Vick’s Virginia Tech in the 1999 Sugar Bowl for all the marbles. I got chills when I heard the war chant coming from the crowd. Every time the band dropped that beat and arms started chopping I was transported to the stands. I watched that game in complete awe. I knew then that I would go to Florida State. I grew up on Bobby Bowden – I wanted a piece of his legacy.

When I arrived on campus, it was during the Chris Rix Era. This was the beginning of our darkness. I swear the game was completely mental to this kid. Some games he would come out and victory would be in the hands of a nervous kicker. He would lead and if it weren’t for those goalposts that kept moving left or right, we might have won those games. Other games he would have us ready to file out of the stadium, only to bring us back with 5 minutes left in the 4th quarter (*cough* GA Tech 2003). He was the person to kick off my nervous habit when it comes to FSU football.

Things got darker, enter Wyatt Sexton. Poor thang. That lyme disease had him thinking he was God. Next up, Drew Weatherford. A chubby likeable guy, only he was hated because he beat out Xavier Lee for the job. Not to mention we were losing games left and right. Oh and yes, Xavier Lee. The “White Girls Love X” Facebook pages clearly had all his attention and focus from the moment he walked on campus. While he was #1 QB in the country coming in, he let Drew outshine him in practice and take his spot. Then my boy Christian Ponder. He was essentially a non-factor in that he was hurt often, and was pretty mediocre until his senior year. Coach Fisher got him together and thanks to that, he’s in the league today. EJ Manuel was an emotional wreck, but it was all due to him that we finally got to feel like Florida State would eventually be “back” as we proclaimed every season that we won the first game.

During this dark era I maintained my fandom as difficult as that would show itself to be. In 2009 we played Miami in a close nail-biter at Doak that we eventually lost. I was so stressed out during that game that I had to go to the hospital the following morning. A couple of muscle relaxer and pain meds later I told myself it wasn’t worth it. I needed to realize that I wasn’t on the team. It wasn’t my future at stake. I am but a mere fan.

Couldn’t do it.

All those years of intense screaming and horrible losses by less than 3 points. Maddening blowouts from our most hated rivals. Losing games in Doak. All of those years were starting to take their toll on me.

Then finally, 2013 happened.

I had mild expectations for this year. EJ closed out strong and Jameis was now at the helm. I watched him last year, running up and down the sidelines, motivating the bench, and I liked that. However nothing could have prepared me for this year. This year has made the past 11 years worth it. Last year I posted prayers on FB before each rival game in the hopes that Jesus was on the mainline and he would see us through. This year, I’ve been able to watch every single game with a relaxation that was so new to me, that I honestly stayed tense during most 1st quarters just in case FSU started FSUing. These days FSUing means kicking ass and taking names.

I write this for all the hardcore fans out there. I see you tweeting through the tough loses and posting the pics on IG of the all the highlights. I watch you while you tailgate, and I love all of your creative GameDay signs. I know your joy and I know your pain. I know your pain all too well. The good news is that the high will eventually come. Some seasons your team is down, others they are up. That is the beauty of it all. We love the game so much, that even the pain feels good. The hope that comes with believing that this game will be different is enough. The overwhelming sensation when your team runs back a short field goal for 109 yard to take down the Goliath in their path must rival the most intense high from the most potent drug. I get it.

I honestly don’t know what is better than College GameDay Saturday. My heart will miss it once it’s over, but I’ll need that time to recover. I will be in Pasadena this year, cheering on my Noles and praying they can add the cherry on top of an already insane season. I’ll be a mess, panicking, cheering, freaking out, and taking shots, but that’s okay. I live for those moments. 

That’s my story, I’ll see you all at the next Sports Fans Anonymous meeting. *Tomahawk Chop*

JDub*